A tale of two mommies scorned. ( Written Reviews of Die My Love & If I had Legs I’d Kick You)

 

Die My Love

Cast: Jennifer Lawrence, Robert Pattinson, Sissy Spacek

Writer and Director: Lynne Ramsay

**** out of Five Stars

 

If I Had Legs I’d Kick You

Cast: Rose Byrne, Conan O’Brien, A$AP Rocky

Writer and Director: Mary Bronstein

** and a ½ *’s out of Five

 

I should say this from the start of this article that I am a cis, white, male and have 0 knowledge or experiences when it comes to any aspect of motherhood or raising children for that matter.  These are movies that my sometimes co host of my podcast(who is a mother of three) should evaluate but I’m pretty sure these movies would most likely piss her off if I showed them to her. 

In both movies, directors, Lynne Ramsay and Mary Bronstein are showing two women having what looks like a mental breakdown throughout the course of the narrative.  Both of them are married and each have one small child.  Their husbands for the most part seem to be absent or unable/unwilling to help them. They both try to seek outside help with little results.  Linda(Rose Byrne) from If I had Legs… relationship with her therapist played by Conan O’Brien and Grace(Jennifer Lawrence) from Die My Love relationship with her mother in law played by Sissy Spacek. Both films have scenes where the mother leaves their kid unattended to start a relationship with another man, sexual or not,  Both Linda and Grace’s decent into madness reaches a big crescendo at the end with little to no change in either character.

 

From Grace’s perspective in Die My Love, she is depressed after the birth of her child and feels no longer attractive or desirable.  During some flashbacks we see that both her and Jackson(Robert Pattinson) were extremely hot and heavy for each other at the start but that element has seemed to fade from their relationship after the birth of their child.  Now from Linda’s point of view in If I had Legs… She has a daughter(who you don’t see at all until the very end of the movie)  at around the age of 8 who has what seems to be some sort of eating disorder but it’s not clear on what that is.  Her husband is away on what seems like a typical business trip until you find out what he actually does for a living.  The movie than brings all these problems and challenges to this woman but despite her roof caving in due to water damage.  Most of her stress and anxiety is usually because of her and not what others do.  Even if the filmmaker want you to believe otherwise.

 Now some will make the argument that Grace is extremely shallow in the actions she partakes in. While I can agree that her getting into a pool with just her underwear in front of kids or leaving her house in such a dismay of trash is not a good thing.  Jackson for the most part just seems to bring things into the house and expects her to just take care of it without doing any of the work himself.  This woman is having a hard enough time trying to take care of this child by herself and he wants to bring in a dog to the home.   He doesn’t even help train him and then gets upset at her when he craps in the house. Grace used to be a writer and I’m sure being moved out to a home she didn’t want and becoming something she didn’t want has also caused her much stress and later depression.

The stress that Linda faces seems a lot bigger than it actually is.  Now while I agree that having to live at a cheap hotel and no effort has been made on your roof.  That’s no reason to block traffic while waiting for your child at her doctor’s appointment.  When the same doctor is telling her this is what needs to be done to help fix her kid and not only does she avoid it.  She makes a scene at a support group and blames the staff like it’s their fault for her actions.  Linda seems to be caught in one lie after another and near the end when she is faced with all of this so called turmoil is to just run off into the ocean. Between these two women, I’m more on Grace’s side than I am Linda’s.

 Both Jennifer Lawrence and Rose Byrne give really good performances in each movie and it would be extremely interesting if they both remade each other’s works.  It’s not clear if this was Mary Bronstein’s intention with If I Had Legs I’d Kick You but the movie had some very funny moments. The moment when Linda bought a hamster for her daughter so that she wouldn’t have to park and then the rodent escapes in true comic gold. 

 

Although Im sure some would find the scene to be stressful.  Some people have compared Jennifer Lawrence’s role in Die My Love to be similar to that in Darren Aronofsky’s masterpiece mother!   While it could be argued that both women have a similar decent and both feature a husband that is not entirely supportive.   I’d argue that only one really wants to truly be a mother but that doesn’t make the other one a terrible person.  Lynne Ramsey just like, We Need to Talk about Kevin is showing us this complex woman who loves her kid but is not sure if she should.  Meanwhile, Linda in Mary Bronstein’s film says she cares about her child but spends a good portion trying to avoid her.

Critics for the most part seem to be in favor more for If I had Legs… which has a 93% on Rotten Tomatoes compared to Die My Love which as 73%  I think that Lynne Ramsey is not asking you to like her lead character while I think Mary Bronstein is.  Jennifer Lawrence’s Grace could be labled as problematic but she is at least honest about her mental state and at least tries to get help.  Rose Byrne’s Linda (despite being a therapist herself) wants you to believe that all of her problems are not in her control and I just don’t buy it.

I'm a proud member of the Minnesota Film Critics Association.  Read my bio below.

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